Jennifer (jennifurret) wrote,

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Sorry for the lack of updates

Wow, I can't believe it's been since December since I updated. I really should have posted, since a lot has been changing in my life, but I've been concentrating my efforts elsewhere. The thing is, I've been afraid to tell my friends what has been going on. I can't keep this a secret any longer though. It's a part of who I am.

I started going to Campus Crusade for Christ meetings in January. It all started by going to Mexico. All I had to do was look around me to see the people living worthless lives >_< Back then I was jaded and I didn't think of it as sinning, but I knew it was wrong. You could see the couples cuddling everywhere, knowing that night all it was going to be was sex, and I wondered if they really loved each other. How do you really know if someone loves you unless you marry them? o_O And I saw the people stuffing their faces at the buffet, going back for seconds and thirds of heaping plates, while the Mexican workers children were probably wasting away at home. I saw the drunkenness and loss of control. Were people that depressed that they needed to stoop to that to drown their sorrows? It seemed everywhere I turned I saw someone doing something pointless, something detrimental to their life. And when Christmas day came around, I just sat and thought how the holiday had lost all meaning. No one thinks of Christmas as the birth of Jesus anymore - it's all about presents and Santa Claus and snow.

That's when I realized how empty my life was. How devoid of meaning. A guy I know from one of my classes gave me a flier for CCC and suggested it would help me out. After the first meeting, I saw the truth behind the teachings of Jesus Christ Almighty. I felt terrible inside for all the sinful things I had been doing all my life =\ I've removed the gay pride stuff from my room - what was I thinking? Last week I helped the Purdue Students for Life with their annual protest against abortion - how could I not have seen that it was just mindless baby killing? There's just no other side that makes sense. And obviously I've stopped masturbating, though it's been really hard, especially since I told David I can't do anything past kissing anymore. David is the hardest thing. He is a nonbeliever, like I used to be, and it troubles me knowing that when I ascend to heaven his soul will burn in hell. I love him, so I keep trying to persuade him to go to church with me. The hardest thing though was canceling my Harry Potter book 7 order. I still love the series even though I know I shouldn't. I need to put my books in my basement when I get home to hide the temptation.

That's pretty much most of it. I think I'm probably going to switch my major, but I need to figure out what new one I'll pick still. I can't study biology when the church doesn't accept it's foundation of evolution. I follow the word of the church and the Bible now, and some "theories" aren't something I want a degree in. How can I use that in life? I don't know. I guess I can always go back into art ^^; I guess I'll see.

BTW, Pokemon comes out in April! I can't wait ^_^

God Bless You,
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